Frustration
Those who have met me in the past a few days or have seen my status online on Twitter or have had a chat with me in instant messengers, would know that I'm under a very bad pressure both mentally and physically. Describing this part of the story may take 5-6 years, as long as its story and I'd prefer to not talk about it at the moment. Recalling all the difficulties that I had to achieve my goals and current status of my goals is disappointing!
In the past a few days I faced with lots of bad stuff that happened to me both in my personal and professional life.
One of the main things in my life is the fact that I've had a few long time plans for myself and all of these plans have failed just because of some reasons that were not related to me. This time I'm in such a bad pressure about another plan that took the latest 6 years of my life, best years of my life from 18 to 24. This plan is somehow the only way that was remained to me and I accepted this high risk to reach here. I worry much about the high level of risk that I've had and about the future. Actually I can't stand any other failure anymore.
Things are hard and unacceptable since these failures never been from my own faults and somehow environment and others have caused them. One of the biggest environmental parameters is my nationality. Not only I receive lots of bad stuff from this country but it also affects other sides of my life and my attempts and causes lots of troubles.
Facing with such stuff, I always tried to think professional and be patient and try to manage things which is hard at my personal position and age. One of the biggest drawbacks of this nationality is the fact that thinking professional and doing professional is so hard or almost impossible. While I do professional works, my feet are still on an amateur field that tries to push me down seriously.
I'm not in a very good position to explain things at the moment even though writing and talking about it may help me. However, I decided to get off for a short while from blogging and some other stuff to see what will happen. I may disappear from you and just answer to some special emails so expect this as well.
I need to think more and cross my fingers and hope that god gives me a better fortune! This short while may be a few days or a few weeks but I hope that things turn around soon.
I'm so sorry. In the past three years and even in the worst situations I tried to not bring difficulties of my personal life to this blog although these difficulties could destroy a whole life. Believe me, I'm very strong because I have no other choice. But this time it's even worse than that worst! Please pray for me!
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13 Comments : 05.31.08
Feedbacks
Go watch the champs league final again ManU fanboy, that will cheer you up!
Hi Keyvan! I'm so sorry I see you so impressed and sad because I knew (and know) you as a bomb of energy in both technical and personal life. I feel what you're talking about our nationality but I think the problem is not our nationality; our nationality has deep roots in the world civilization and we can be among the most prominent nations of the world. I think you agree that our problem is current political rulers of Iran. They's the reason of all bad thins that are happening in my and your life and we can't do anything except escape from this situation.
But please resist and let the technical community benefit from your strong brain ;-)
Don't Panic. If you feel insecure, migrate to India.
Dear Keyvan, every Iranian who wants to be a professional have these problems...
Don't panic and think about how you can MIGRATE from this ..... country :)
Keyvan, don't lose faith and abandon all hope now! You've come so far, don't give up. Yes, things in life never work out the way we plan them but if you persevere, put your trust in God, never let go of hope and keep driving forward, you'll see that all things work out in the end. Yes, it may not be exactly the way you had planned it, but I'm confident it'll be for the better.
Maybe it's a test of faith in that you're always planning your life and maybe it's a message to let go and let God take control and follow his plan.
Just a thought. :)
I know if you don't lose hope and continue with that drive you've always showed to the rest of us, you'll be fine. Hang in there, buddy!
As for your nationality, I think Mahdi said it best. Be proud of your heritage. If someone is going to hold it against you then are they really the type of people you want to deal with anyways?
Take care, Keyvan!
K-man, I'm sorry you're in this emotional place. I know it will pass, just like your stretch in the military.
You've accomplished amazing things regardless of your geographic or national situation. Keep doing what you're doing. Things will open up for you, I know it.
Email me anytime if you ever want to.
-Dave
Things tend to go in cycles, but you've always made the best of it in the past. The good news is that you're out of military service soon, which should open up a lot of new options for you. Hang in there dude!
@Max and @Shaho:
Yes, I have to!
@Granville:
I don't think it can help much!
@Julio:
Thank you for your thought!
@Mahdi:
Read my new post about this situation.
@Anand:
Why India?
@Amin:
How to fill that "..."?!!
@Dave Voss:
Thanks, man, for your comment. Things are not as easy as what you may think. So hard to achieve, so hard to dominate!
@Dave Burke:
Hey man, glad to hear from you. This world is finally stoppping me!
@Jayson:
Were are you, Jayson? Long time, no hear, no talk and no see! Glad to read your comment after a long time. One day you were the most active visitor of this blog!
Last week I had two posts ( here and here ) regarding personal difficulties in my life expressing some
From the beginning of my military service every two months I’ve given a status of the service and things
#1
Max Allen
05.31.2008 @ 11:48 AM
Find yourself a girl, relax and settle down